It's a hot summer night in the land of Chicago. Underground bound Ols and I walk around the hood to see the pretty lights. Beats, drinks and then..whoa? Who is this Thor looking dude, I want to put my hands in his hair and do bad things to this thing. Twenty five minutes into a nice conversation, All American Hero introduces me to his quiet, meek girlfriend. cool. no worries. 'It would be poor form for me to get your number in front of your girlfriend, see you around.' him: 'I can Facebook you right now' - cool I say. Then he turns and introduces me to his brother, who is sitting down in zombie land. I think to myself, these kids are WEIRD!
Fast Forward - Four months. December 14th., the Ice Queen and I step out with our little crew, terrible table service, terrible Samantha Ronson on the deck, quizzical looks at Scott, people everywhere wanting to talk to Hamida. WTF. "Oh yea, she says, my reality show airs in a few weeks." Wait. WHAAAATTTTT. 100 days of Summer, on BravoTV. Sweet. I'm thinking this is too badass, then she says, 'I don't have a PR agent yet?', I kindly reply, 'you do now'.
On the way back from the ladies room, I run into…THOR. Me: 'If you didn't have a girlfriend, I'd drag you out of here by your tie right now.' (I keep walking). He grabs me and says, 'we broke up'. DAMNNNN. After party at the pad, Buckley immediately drops a heater when I get home. Here I am, party hosting, Gucci dress, cleaning up liquid poop. PJM steps right up, starts helping. (head nods all around). Full court press. He wants to make out. I say, 'this is nice but I have guests, stick around if you want, but I am not having sex with you'. 30 days later, he tells me I've infiltrated too many of his "circles", all of which he has invited me into (Friends Holiday Party, Friends Family Holiday Party, Brothers Birthday, HOME FOR XMAS!, Suit Supply Holiday Party, Dinner with the other brother. I've INFILTRATED YOUR CIRCLES?! HUH. Seriously are you joking. (Jedi Mind Fuck).
I have to say, he acted like a mature dude, then that smile that lights up a room - pulls a bitch move and starts acting like an actual 25 year old. Lesson learned. Long moves along.
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