Women are Women - 2014

Since starting this blog well over 3 years ago, I continue to struggle with how to make 30inthe312 fun, witty and enlightening - all while keeping my existing closet male audience cracking up, making sure my aunts are in stitches, and capturing new followers. After going it alone in Paris, (aka the "summer of Andi"), watching my Sooners go to the Fiesta Bowl and falling into the proverbial hole called love (Circa 2011-2013), I think I re-imagined an un-nauseating middle ground that doesn't consist of puppy dogs and ice cream. Trying to write about my life after transitioning from a raging, weekly traveling girl, who was simultaneously trying to date in Chicago - to the person, I quieted down to become, was nothing less than challenging. That went full circle and back to me being the weekly - raging traveling girl who couldn't wait to touch down on Thursday nights and head straight to the UG to dance my blues away. At present not much has changed/ and everything has changed all in a matter of days. NYFW was one for the books, and a grand welcome to NYC definitely happened.

However -- Don't jump to conclusions, I AM still rowdy. I haven't abandoned my friendships, stopped going to Underground entirely, donated my dancing shoes, cancelled ESPN or permanently deleted my Facebook. I've just come to seriously enjoy a 5pm bedtime on Friday night eating a LRG Thin Crust pizza from Dag's and or a pint of Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Brownie next to my favorite guy, Buck. 

While searching for the perfect re-emergence topic months ago (years ago, original publication of Women are Women - 2012), I spotted a thought-provoking article in The New Yorker. Margot Talbot's article "Girls Will Be Girls", (p. 39) revisits the sexual revolution and educated women, not to be considered as mutually exclusive. It is these topics mushed together that I find most intriguing and appropriate. For instance: "is sexual freedom good for women?" I can't but think, how could it not be? I didn't realize how bad the past was for women’s sexuality until I finally watched it unfold with my own eyes on an episode of Mad Men (I know I'm behind the curve on this one). So let's explore: why wouldn't the sexual revolution be good for women? Why has it been and continues to be socially acceptable for men to have multiple partners? Why was “continual use of birth control” called "mis-use"? Considering most of my friends, myself included, have been popping birth control since high school, I think it's been empowering, liberating and child free, at least for me. It just doesn't add up, the last time I checked, the only place 2+2=5 was a Radiohead lyric. 

Modern day example of this- Tiger Woods vs. Madonna. Who is seemingly perceived as less of a person, having been judged for their sexual choices when considering all the hoopla on both parts; Tiger with his sex scandal and Madonna with her public entourage of lovers and current 20 something boyfriend? The sad truth is: we still live in a world where perception is everything, where we are judged on our reputations (and number of sexual partners), especially if you are a woman. Even as Madonna publically chose to air her sexuality, Tiger’s inner sex god locked in a hotel closet went virtually un-ridiculed. He still stands Scarlet "Slut" free. Even though it is 2012 and the sexual revolution is over, it doesn't quite seem "revolutionary." It seems nowhere in life is it okay for a woman to be sexually free, some people (men and women alike) still choose to believe that women like Samantha Jones (SATC) do not exist, sort of like a unicorn, as one male friend coined it (Thanks Coffey). On the flip side, today's men think it's okay to ask for anal on a first date (according to an article in GQ), that's if they even ask you on a date at all (Porn has A downside). In a society that was created for freedom and equality, why is sex still taboo?

Another intriguing note in Margaret Talbot's article caught me for a re-read, "no one in America seriously worries that higher education spoils a woman anymore." WTF. Higher education thought to be toxic and spoiling? I can't imagine living in an era in which learning to knit, bake and drive were the end of my world or height of my intellect; and neither could my Grandmothers. The pioneers of my lifetime: Grandma Long, with her humble beginnings, less is more, red lipstick only, never unpolished nails taught me about equality at the age of eleven when she handed me a copy of "Uncle Tom's Cabin." She did have it all, even if it was controversial; married 50 years, a full time surgical nurse and mother of four if you include me.
Then we have Miss Panama City circa 1960 - Grandma Johnson who to this day does not cease to amaze and inspire me, visited Paris in the Spring with Bill, her love and companion of 20 plus years. Before tossing conventional expectations to the wind, she too married, and raised four kids. At 65, she graduated with her associates degree the same day I graduated with my Bachelors, not to mention her brave immigration from Panama in a sun dress arriving in Kansas in the middle of winter! 

Grandma J is determined to live past 100 and is working on her memoir. She emails, has an iPhone, texts me internationally and has a Facebook account --- she is UNwilling to be left behind in a world constantly changing.

I am eternally grateful for my grandmothers and their courage to buck trends throughout their lifetime, both of them in their own way, seeking a better life; have made me who I am. But had I been born an ethnic mutt (I'm nine different nationalities) in the Mad Men age, I would be considered an outsider: sexually repressed and possibly even uneducated. And so life then becomes a question of choices and drive; not judgments. 

What happens in life shapes that we become and the choices we make result in us becoming who we want to be. I seriously couldn't be happier to be an educated 30 something, who doesn't believe in an organized religion, who believes in thought, logic and ability, who chooses not to be married and chooses to work as a sales executive in one of the most male dominated industries on the planet. Furthermore, I am ecstatic to live in a time where women can participate in organized sports (Fresh2Death!LeagueChampions), sweat and "mis-use" birth control; not to mention the ability to do as I choose, buy $700 shoes, drive a car that seats 7 passengers even when there are only 1.5, scalp Bears tickets and make my own way. Buckley ridding shot gun no less.

I'm sure most of my readers want to judge me for being so open, writing seemingly "controversial, racy" topics but this is a conversation my friends, male and female, gay and straight have over a glass of wine, a beer or a shot of Patron XO. I know judging is psychologically "easier," I have a degree in that mumbo jumbo, but sadly most don't think and so that is what they do, they judge. I sincerely hope we can all open our square minds and create some piece for our own origami. I'll be honest, if my 79-year-old grandmother can read my blog and not judge me, then I would hope that most of my readers have a mind open mind expansive enough to follow her lead. And so when generations from now I am quoted as saying "be who you are, anything else is a lie," I mean it. 

In closing, I apologize a tiny bit for my MIA status these past few weeks. Once in a great while you find someone to fall off the grid with and you just have to hope you don’t need your parachute this time, well I am getting smarter these days and am fully equipped with three not - one parachute and an extra passenger air bag to boot. All lessons - All learned - All noted.

Where I am I going with all of this? I have no idea. So, go be sexy, get a library card and be who you are because random topics and 30inthe312/212/918 are back in full throttle.. XOXO